I finished 1 Samuel last night.

There’s a lot one could chew one from the book of 1 Samuel (particularly if you’re a giant systematic theology nerd). For instance, why would God gives Israel a King to begin with? You could probably try and argue, as the ending of Judges hints, that without a king the people of Israel were ignoring God and doing whatever they pleased. By that logic, a King could at least coral the people and give them a physical person to rally their faith around (without being too idolatrous). Of course, that all blows up in the people’s face, as God said it would. And you could also wrestle with the idea that God regretted appointing Saul. How does God regret an action, I thought God wasn’t fickle? Regret seems so…human.

Of all the slew of conversations one could have about 1 Samuel, I choose to go in a more practical direction for this blog. For two reasons: 1) I feel (at least at this moment) systematic theology for the most part muddies the water of the Bible’s story. It gives us blinders that cause us to only see certain scriptures that push our viewpoint. The other scriptures then are either forced to fit our theological assumptions or we ignore them completely. 2) Nothing else really stuck with me like today’s story….which is a more important reason than some pitiful attempt at a diatribe against systematic theology (because, I’m so learned that I can make such diatribe *please note the sarcasm dripping from that line*…I recognize my own limits here people).

Our story comes from 1 Samuel 15. It’s the last straw (so to speak) that brings God’s rejection of Saul as King. Saul attacks the Amalekites and destroys most of their stuff except for the king and the finest animals. The author writes, “But Saul and the army spared Agag and the best of all the sheep and cattle, the fat calves and lambs- everything that was good. These they were unwilling to destroy completely but everything that was despised and weak they totally destroyed.” Afterwards, Samuel comes to him and rebukes him (as prophets did in those days). Saul comes up with this poor story about sacrifices and wanting to give the best to God…blah blah blah The story wreaks of those lame excuses teenagers get for when they get caught doing something they shouldn’t. You know like, “it’s technically not stealing Kyle.”

Samuel doesn’t fall for it because (apparrently unbeknownst to Saul) Samuel’s not an idiot. Samuel says, “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice and to heed is better than the fat of rams (1 Samuel 15:22).”

That really struck me. I know that God is a gracious God. I know He looks past our trangressions. I also know that grace can be a confusing idea, it still confuses me daily. I also know that Jesus has called me to follow Him. To follow Him not just to Heaven but to follow Him day in and day out. I need to remember while God is there and God is faithful, I play a part in this relationship as well (and per Saul I need to know God doesn’t fall for my lame excuses when I try to fool Him…come on we’ve all done that before).

My role is to trust God. That’s what faith is. But not just in the big things, I need to trust Him in everything. Every decision, every work out, every source of entertainment, every activity. I need to be looking for ways to witness to God’s love and listen to the leanings of the Holy Spirit. Perhaps this calls for more intentionality on my part or perhaps it calls for a better focus on the good and important things in life. I don’t know the specifics at this moment. But I do know, I need to trust God in the calm times, to call on His name when there is no storm, when life isn’t a struggle. It’s good to be obediant when my need for Him is blatant; it’s better to be obediant even when no storm rages and the waters are still.   

I wrote this for part of this morning’s sermon.

My mother loves life. She loves to dance, laugh, eat good foods, and spend time with friends. She is my biggest fan (and can you blame her?). She is passionate about making people’s lives better. She loves God and has been a faithful follower of our Lord Jesus Christ for as long as I can remember. As I reflect on my mother’s life and all of the ways God has blessed me through watching her, I want to make three observations about my mother.

First, she is a woman of great spiritual fortitude and perseverance. I did not grow up in household with two strong believing parents. Mom was devoted to her faith, the Church, and involving her children in that faith. Dad was devoted to waking us up for church and then going back to bed…unless it was a major religious holiday of course. Throughout my childhood my mother worked tirelessly to keep us involved in the Church and with faith but she did so lovingly. While I knew I was going to Sunday morning worship, every now and then I could miss out on Sunday evening services. While she wanted me to be a part of the Church’s youth group, I always had a choice. In many ways, she was the sole provider of faith in our household.

And this responsibility got even harder when my parents divorced. In the midst of the betrayal and agony she turned closer to God. I, on the other hand, pulled away. We would have long, drawn out arguments over my devotion to a God, whom I felt had left me and betrayed us all. She never backed down. Even in the midst of my atheistic rally cry that God was dead, somehow my mother never relented. She would drag me to church because, I believe, deep down she knew I was only projecting anger at my dad onto God. She never gave up on me. She never let me go. For three years, she lived as a single mother but I never went wanting. She made it work. I always had money for gas. I always had the foods I liked. The Mountain Dew was always well stocked (although in retrospect perhaps that wasn’t the best call on her part).

Secondly, my mother has shown me that motherhood is not always determined by one’s bloodline. Mom was a teacher and throughout those years she showed the same kind of nurturing, compassionate care to her students as she did to me. But it goes even further than that. For a while, a young girl, whose mother (as far as I can remember) was not very involved in her life. Mom stepped in on many occasions. She took her shopping, let her come over to our house when her dad worked late and provided her with a meal.

Like one of her own children, she showed this girl a tender and compassionate female presence. To this day, she still maintains a strong connection with many of her former students. She keeps up with their lives. She likes to tell me stories of what they’re doing. Usually the conversation goes something like, “Kyle do you remember so and so. He/she was possibly in your grade or maybe a year older when you were 6?” Me: No mom it’s been 23 years, I don’t remember that person. “Oh well let me tell you…and then she would proceed to give me an update on the last 23 years of their life and always made sure to tell me they said hello.

Lastly, my mom showed me the value of showing love to those who were hurting. Whether it was in my own life, my brothers or one of her students, mom had a great way of empathizing with the people she was talking to. If my mom knows you and you’re hurting, she’s hurting to. And you can guarantee she’s lifting you up in her prayers at night. This past year my grandmother had surgery and mom spent a good amount of time driving up and being with her, helping her understand the doctor’s instructions, dealing with my nanny’s honriness…err…ornery…how do you spell that? (It’s the word that describes alligators in the Water Boy because they have too many teethe and no toothbrush)…anyways you get the picture; always showing God’s love.

And as I was reflecting on these aspects of my mother, I came across an article that chose to acknowledge that mother’s day is not only about our biological moms, mother’s day is not only about celebrating our mom’s either. For many this is a day of struggle and tears. The continuum of motherhood is vast and broad. And I join with this author saying:

1) To those who gave birth this year to their first child- we celebrate the beautiful journey you have just embarked on.

2) To those in trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of honor that is a food or paint stain on your clothes or wall- we appreciate you.

3) To those who miss their moms- we mourn with you.

4) To those struggling to have children or walk the hard path of infertility and the disappointments that rise up in those times- we walk with you.

5) To those living with and raising difficult children- we surround you; remembering that the toughest roads travelled often lead to the most beautiful rewards.

To those who have lived through driving tests, trips to the ER, temper tantrums, tiresome days, emotional vomiting, actual vomiting- to women like my mother we all acknowledge that our lives are better for the way you allow God to work through you.

Happy Mother’s Day!

A Sermon for My Preaching Class. I’m sure I’ll use it for services one day.

Have you ever been in a room filled with people but felt utterly alone? I have. I have quite often actually. I can be the guy in the middle of the room making the jokes, smile on my face on the outside looking completely calm and like I’m having the time of my life but on the inside….

On the inside, I feel much like the picture above. Everything inside of me seems grey and dying. I pull my knees up to my chest for warmth but it is only my tiny, frail, body there, no one else. No matter what little momentary, comfort this brings, it always ends. And the chill sets in. That icy, cold, touch that says, “Nobody cares about you. Nobody wants you around.” And no matter what happens, no matter how many people are around me, in my head, I believe the cold is right. Nobody likes me. Nobody wants me around.

And in those moments, every little forgotten text, every unanswered phone call, every half-hearted hello, every last minute invitation, comes flooding into my mind. Evidence placed before a jury which has already decided on a verdict; a sad, sorrowful sermon preaching to my maddeningly, mournful mind’s eye. And suddenly it grows and morphs from people who were, perhaps, just missing me or being forgetful and de-evolves into people who are intentionally doing this to me.

Surely they got that message; surely they understood what I was saying. They knew all I was asking, deep down, was for someone to validate my existence, to hear the deepest longing of my heart: I just want to know I’m loved for me. Not for what I do or do not do. Not for what I provide to others, just loved because I…. am….me. They knew all this, deep down and didn’t care. They intentionally let me go. The subtle frost becomes a hard ice upon my heart. And as the ice slowly hardens, I pull away. Tired of feeling hurt, tired of feeling alone, I pull further and further away. I do this to protect myself because, at the end of the day, what I’m really feeling is not simply feelings of being alone but rather feelings of being rejected by people whom I thought loved me. Loneliness is cyclical that way.

As a youth minister, I sometimes feel this way. Honestly, it comes and it goes within the general ebb and flow of the life I live. When we have busy ministry months, when I find myself engrossed in the chaos of ministry, when the only people I ever talk to are teenagers….that’s when the loneliness begins to set in. When I haven’t had time with adults outside of talking with volunteers….that’s when it’s bad. You may ask yourself, “Why?” Why would a minister ever feel alone?

I’m sure there are a lot of reasons for this but for me, I always wonder, “Do they only love me because I’m their youth minister?” If I weren’t in my position, would they still talk to me? Would I feel like I belong here? Or do I only fit in, do I only belong because people are forced to interact with me and see me. Do I only fit in because of what I give to them? I meet their needs, I pour into their lives. And as the cold sets in, I begin to believe what the hard ice shows me; the answer is yes, if I didn’t work here, I wouldn’t fit in here.

Of course, it is too simplistic and overly narcissistic to assume I am merely a victim of people’s forgetfulness or intentional cruelty. Often, I am the villain. I am the one who takes little interest in people outside of what they can do for the ministry. The adults stop being a group of people and are only seen as my volunteer pool, like mature sheep I lead to the slaughter of youth ministry. I do after-all have a program to run, and that program requires people. I am of course guilty of the same crimes that I perceive have been done against me. I am guilty of only seeing them in light of their value to me. What they can bring to the ministry, which is often translated as “What they can do for me.” When I fail to look people in the eyes, when I fail to see them for more than their gifts, when I fail to talk about topics beyond, “Hey I need so and so for such and such.” then I become the villain who makes others feel like they are less valued, like they do not belong. I become the one who shows people they, themselves, their humanness, are not wanted.

I know what it is like to be alone, to feel ignored. And I know what it is like to make others feel alone and to be ignored. These are two duel realities that are alive within the messed up sinful existence that I call Kyle Sapp.

And I believe I am not the only one who wrestles with these feelings. Thus in our time together, I want to offer a little hope to both sides of the line. To the lonely I want to tell you of Jesus of Nazareth; the ultimate Human who has experienced loneliness, and who gets it… who gets you. And to those of you, who do not wish to push people away, who wish to heal the loneliness instead of encouraging it, I want to observe how Jesus heals loneliness and offer two guiding principles for life that can help us make a difference amongst broken and lonely people. And to do this we now turn to the story of Zacheuss.

Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. ² A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. ³ He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. ⁴ So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way. ⁵ When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” ⁶ So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. ⁷ All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.”  ⁸ But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” ⁹ Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. ¹⁰ For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”

Zacchaeus has always seemed like a lonely fellow to me, an outcast among the majority of people around him. Zacchaeus, the text tells us, was a chief tax collector. This meant that Zacchaeus worked for the oppressive Roman Empire. His job was to take money from his community. Often tax collectors would take more than was required; they would cheat people out of their hard earned money. Based on verse 8, we see this is probably true in Zacchaeus’ case. Add to that Zacchaeus wasn’t the tallest person in the world and you get a dude who runs a high possibility of feeling awkward amongst the crowds of Jericho.

But Zacchaeus was looking for something, and perhaps He thought Jesus could provide it. So he climbs a tree and waits. And this brings us to our first observation about how Jesus interacted with people: he noticed them, especially those who were the social perias of His day, the outcasts, and the “sinners.” Jesus sees Zacchaeus. If you’re interested in helping people be welcomed in you church you have to notice them first. This seems very obvious but is perhaps one of the hardest things to do.

You may ask, “Why?” The answer is quite simple: we all have blinders on. We all naturally gravitate to those who are familiar to us, those we are comfortable with. And often we do this to the exclusion of others. To be fair, this exclusion is not always intentional. We may not mean to leave people out of ignore them. But regardless of our intentions, feeling alone and as if no one sees you is very, very hurtful and damaging to the soul.

The second observation to be made is not only did Jesus notice Zacchaeus but he made a movement towards him. He goes to his house. He most likely had a meal with him. He gets to know Zacchaeus. He shows Zacchaeus that he matters, that there he is more than what he does. He is more than a cheating tax collector. He bears the image of God and Jesus treats him with the dignity and respect of that image bearer.

And this brings us to the heart of why people go ignored: we often forget everyone bears the image of God in them. God has breathed life into each and every person. This means that everyone has intrinsic value a value that is not measured by actions, a value that is not shown by deeds a value that cannot be taken away. And the Church is in the business of helping people see their value as God bearers. This was part of Jesus mission to seek and save the lost. To give his life so that the sin that enslaves the soul can be removed and destroyed and the God bearing image can breathe once again.

Part of leading people into this type of existence begins with us. We begin to notice those around us; giving extra attention to those who are far too often ignored by the culture around them. And we must not simply see people, we must respond to them. Get into their lives, hear their stories, feel their pains, celebrate their triumphs. When we do that, people are transformed. The icy, cold touch of loneliness melts away, and the bright warmth of community invades the soul and brings blessed life.

But what about those of us who feel lonely today, who feel rejected now?  I said earlier that Jesus has experienced loneliness, rejection and he gets it….he gets you. Where in this story does Jesus experience loneliness or rejection?

First, let me point you to verse 7, “All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.” The word translated as “mutter” or in other translations, “complain” is the Greek word diagogguzo. The root of this word is gogguzw. Often this word has theological significance in its description. Those who gogguzw are displaying an ungodly attitude in their complaining and not simply a mere dissatisfaction at the events before them. We see this word used in the Gospel of John often to describe the rejection of Jesus by the Jewish people.

Now as to the actual word diagogguzw it is only used twice in the New Testament both in the Gospel of Luke (15:2 and here in 19). In both instances it describes a level of dissatisfaction or a complete rejection with Jesus’ actions. So here is one small example of Jesus doing something that leads to others rejecting Him.

Second, we have to look beyond this story and look to the cross to see the true rejection Jesus experienced on His journey to the cross. When the men come to arrest Him, he is betrayed by Judas. After the arrest his closest friends all abandon Him. He stands alone. He stands by Himself before a crowd crying for His death for His blood. He dies rejected by the very people He came to save.

And He was rejected; He was killed for all of creation. He was broken so that you and I along with the whole world could be restored. Brought into a true, intimate relationship with God, the Son, the Holy Spirit and… each…. other. We are brought together by His blood as fellow image bearers; we stand side by side declaring the majesty, the holiness and the never ending love of God.

Do you feel alone in this crowd? Do you hear the icy voice calling to you? Telling you nobody wants you, nobody loves? That voice is a lie. That voice is a poison sent into your hearts to hold you back, to create a vehement anger that will pull you into the cycle of loneliness and rejection. Don’t….listen.

Instead hear me and know: We are all loved. We are all accepted. If you hear that voice, then share it with someone else. Let Jesus speak through you to someone today. Be the very voice of God and declare “You…are… not… alone. You…are….not….rejected. You…are…loved. You…belong….here. In this place, in this time, in this kingdom…you…are….home.  

For the past two hours theFacebook has become a huge storm of postings and pictures and bandwagoning for Invisible Children and their newest movie Kony. It’s definately falling under the label of “Trending.” Trending concerns me. To show you how concerned I am, please note that I had actually gone to bed and then layed awake thinking about this danger. Please don’t hear (or read rather) this post as me being a heartless buzz-kill. I am not. I am genuinely care about Invisible Children and have supported them in some fashion for the past three years. I did it before it was cool. And you know you were doing it before it was cool if you ever wore the shirt and someone made a joke about “Is there a charity for the visible children too (or some reasonable facsimilie)?”

Here are my reasons for wisdom to be a major focus of what I shall call ”The Kony Trend.”

1) Trending is a flash fire.

Often trending becomes huge for a few days or a week and then inevitably leaves our social consciousness (remember the Jesus Hates Religion Guy? Or how about the “Father Shoots HIs Daughter’s Laptop Guy”). We engage in discussions over the issues that are raised. We sit at the table of discourse like children playing house. We say we know exactly what this person is talking about and we totally support them…for at least five minutes. And then the shine wears off. The movement doesn’t look so exciting anymore, something else comes along the way. You know what? There will always be a new problem for us to get excited about. Some new horror to fight. The world is a dark and ugly place at times. The world and it’s problems don’t need more people getting energized and excited. The world and it’s problems need COMMITMENT!! The problems and the systems of this world are deeply rooted and will not be overcome in one month or a year.

Consider: there will always be fascist dictators (most of the time at the same time). Let’s be clear our war is not with one man, our war is with an entire ideaology perpetrated by the oppressive forces of this world. Bear in mind that while Joseph Kony and the LRA are a problem, remember they are also a symptom of a much bigger problem. And that problem and the solutions it brings is not always simple, flashy or pretty. That problem requires geniuine commitment to a lifetime of fighting oppression.

2) It Can Just Be Talk

Recently, I read a quote that says (and he was referring to the Church), “Sometimes we talk about something so much we actually think we’re doing something.” But sometimes we’re not doing anything, we’re just talking.Don’t fall for this confusion. Awareness is important. But it’s only half of the battle. Knowing about a problem does not solve the problem. Diagnosing a sickness does not actually heal the sickness it just points you in a direction (this is also one of my major critiques of HIp-Hop…but that’s for a paper I’m writing. Maybe I’ll post it later). PLease don’t just talk about something, actually do something. My friend Mike is someone who is doing something (cudos to Michael Guillen if he’s reading this post…actually both Guillen brothers fall under this category. Larry when I wrote a post about teen evangelism I’ll give you props as well bro).  6 months ago Mike texted me about doing something for Invisible Children but the timing didn’t work out. But he kept asking me about when we were going to do something with them. And now we are. Mike talked about an issue and then cared enough to do something about it.

3)   Bandwagoning is Oppression or some form of Injustice

 Oppression is defined as the detrimental domination of a group (more or less). At it’s core, one group gets something at the expense of another. In my experience (limited as it may be) people tend to join bandwagons to feel a part of something. They want to feel important and feel like they matter. Also, who wants to be on the outside of a group? It’s lonely on the outside. But when you do that, when you join a bandwagon or a cause because it seems cool and is the “in thing” to do are you not simply getting something at the expense of another’s group’s suffering? Are you not using the pain of others as a way of fulfilling a need within you? As Christians we fall into this trap all the time. We feed the homeless or give to the needy to make ourselves feel better.  We belittle the people we’re claiming to help. When we help the poor and disenfranchised we must remember to do so in a way that maintains their dignity. Otherwise we will always see ourselves as the great saviors of the less fortunate.

4) To the Otherside

And before the opposite crowd, the “yeah boo bandwagons” crowd jumps in to support me let me say this. You’re just as cliche. To avoid a cause simply because it has become a bandwagon and to mock others for bandwagoning is a bandwagon in and of itself. More to the point, it’s ultimately useless. You don’t encourage people to fight for a cause, you only discourage them and draw attention to yourself. Bandwagons aren’t necessarily bad (after all without a wagon how would the band travel?). The point is neither the inclusion nor the exclusion of trending and badnwagons. The point is to raise awareness in a way that evokes a call to action and equips people for said action.

5) They’ll Use You

Be wary of the bands you wagon with. Marketers know everyone loves a good bandwagon and they’ll take advantage of you because of that. Do the research, do your homework. Just because a promotional video has some sturring music and has “expert” interviews doesn’t mean they’re the real deal. I once watched a documentary about how youth ministry is evil and at first I was like, “yeah this is evil, I need to stp being a youth minister.” Then I began to realize that what I was reacting to were not the points being made but rather the way the points were made. A great example of this is the Sarah Mclaughlin Dog commercial (you know the one: In the arms of the angel blah blah save this puppy. And they show all these pictures of dying animals). Think as you act. Ask yourself, “Am I really helping and if so how?” *insert Tommy Boy reference about putting garuanteed on a box*

I fully support the fall of tyranny and oppression. I follow Jesus because I believe he is the only true solution to the deep problems of this world. He came to bring liberation and sight to the blind. He came as a part of a movement that Yahweh crafted; to bring restoration to a broken and fallen world. Kony is a symptom of this brokeness and I invite everyone reading this to stand up against him. I invite you to stand up against the slave trade, sex trafficking and domestic/ global hunger. I invite you to fight against greed and self-righteousness. But my invitation is extended to others not because it’s fun to work in a group or because it’s a hip thing to do (most of the time it actually isn’t flashy or hip). I invite you to stand up as I join other who stand up because we believe within our heart of hearts that there is a better way to this world and we will fight with everything in our being until that day of final restoration arrives.

Speaking of which: April 1st 6:30pm 1020 E Tregallas Rd Antioch Ca. Kony 2012. 

I once heard a speaker (of whom I can’t remember) say that one of the best factors to determine whether someone was committed to a church was their tithe. This person (again, I’d tell you if I could remember but Ive heard so many speakers over the years they all tend to blur together…) also said that on average it took a new church member around 18 months to begin to tithe regularly to his or her church. I guess you could say this was the sign that they had literally “bought in” into the mission of the congregation.

Tithing is an ancient practice and is very beneficial to spiritual development. Perhaps the most important benefit is the gift of perspective. In a world where one so easily buys into the illusion that the money you have, the stuff you purchased is yours because you “worked hard for it,” tithing reminds us that all things belong to God first. Tithing also helps us fight off the devil of entitlement that seems to be so pervasive among many in today’s younger generations. Seriously, sit down and have a conversation with someone who is, say, under 25 and pay attention to not only what they say but how they say it. I was recently listening to a lady from the Occupy movement (this is not an anti occupy rant btw, this is just one lady I saw interviewed) and she seemed frustrated that she was not given the job she wanted. She’d gone to school, jumped through the hoops, so give her her dream job. She deserved the job and couldn’t understand why it wasn’t just given to her (which I totally understand and my thoughts on that are best left for another post about spoiling kids and giving everyone a trophy in sports). Often times the way I hear teenagers talk about their cell phones, their PS3′s, their clothes, the 4th new pair of shoes, you’d think they were kings and queens. That which they desired was meant to be given to them by dive right. Clearly, we need the tithe to bring perspective to our lives.

So I see a number of good reasons for tithing. I think it is important to tithe. Yet, I struggle with tithing. It’s not because I’m selfish and don’t want to give money to the Lord. And it’s not simply that I forget to bring cash or a check to church on Sunday mornings (although, since we’re being honest in the midst of everything else that goes on on Sunday that does get lost in the shuffle). I struggle with tithing because well I’m a minister and whenever I give to the church, I’m getting some of it back. It seems a little self fulfilling. I mean, I literally live from other’s tithes to God, and I want the tithe to be given directly to God without any benefit comin my way (which is also why I don’t report my donations to the IRS).

Ministers and priests have lived off the tithe since the time of the Israelites wandering. In Numbers 18, the Levites are given the gift to minister to the people of Israel and be priest in the tabernacle. They get to be responsible for the reconciliation of God and His people. They get to live in a closer and more intimate relationship with God than other Israelites. And God provides for them. They get a portion of the offerings given to God. They don’t get other inheritances but they get a part of Israel’s offerings as their inheritance. And then the LORD says, “When you receive from the Israelites the tithe I give you as your inheritance, you must present a tenth of that tithe as the Lord’s offering.” So while living off the tithes, the priest are also to tithe.

I’m cool with that but in their day when they gave a tenth, it didn’t just sit there, it wasn’t money. It was an animal or a portion of an animal or juice, something that would “go away” and not come back. So I’ve reconciled my desire to tithe with my desire for it to be pure by setting aside money to give as a part of our ministering without getting reimbursed for it. So I’ll buy supplies for a class or food for an event or something and let that be my offering. It doesn’t go into the tray and outside of this blog I never talk about it.

But I wonder, “Am I doing right by God?” I give outside of that so I don’t feel like I’m being stingy but there have been week’s where I didn’t need to spend anything on the ministry without me making some kind of recompense. And while I don’t believe one HAS to tithe, I believe it is important and also from a practical standpoint, the money has to come from soemwhere. But beyond the practicality I’m concerned from a spiritual persective, am I missing out on something in my method? Is this an area of spiritual growth that I could make or am I overthinking it (which it wouldn’t be the first time).

To be clear, I don’t feel guilty, my conscience is clea as far as I am aware. I’m jsut looking for growth opportunities any thoughts would be welcomed. Blessings!!

One of my favorite movies of all time is Braveheart. Yes it’s overly gory. Yes it stars a man who is, today, a little bit nuts and sure it’s really historically inaccurate…but then again so is the HIstory channel and people still watch THAT. Still, it’s freakin Braveheart man!! The title of this post is based on my favorite line from the movie, one of them anyways. You can’t help but watch this movie, hear this line and want to go out and fight some hoity toity British soldier with their, neatly pressed coverings and their nice well polished armor and their neatly formed ranks….psssh. Real men don’t need none of that stuff, they just need gumption, a huge claymore strapped to their back and blue face paint. War is ugly, war is hell, war is, to some degree, a reality. MOre on that in a bit.

In the beginning of Numbers, the people and their tribes, beginning with the heads of each clan and their children and going on down until we know how large each tribe is, are listed. It even goes so far as to specifically order the tribal camps (Numbers 2). In Numbers 3and 4 special attention is given to the tribes of Levi and the specific role they play in the setting up and breaking down of the Tabernacle. In Numbers 5 the camp is to be purified and wrongs are to be righted. A lot more stuff is described in great detail and at first it seems really, really boring.

But then we get to chapter 10 and everything makes sense. Numbers 10:35-36 reads, “Rise Up Lord! May your enemies be scattered, may your foes flee before you. And whenever it [Israel's encampments] came to rest, he said, “Return, Lord to the countless thousands of Israel.” I realized, they were preparring for war to do battle, whether they realized it or not (and I think they did) they were getting ready to move into the promised land and receive (fight for) the promise of God. If you get a chance go back and reread chapter 10, it sounds very much like a group setting out for war.

I’m serious…go read it.

Done yet? Fine… take another minute or two

God is preparing Israel to move and invade their promised land. Yes, God is the God who fights for His people, but it’s also good to remember that God fights with and in and through HIs people (I’m sure I’ve said this before but let’s not take it for granted). We don’t sit around while God does all the work and then reap the blessings. Rather God partners with us (a very unequal partnership mind you) to bring about His will, His purposes. We see this throughout Scripture. I imagine these passages in Numbers like a training montage from a movie. Just for funzies, try reading Numbers 5-10 with Eye of the Tiger in the background, but only do that if you’re prepared to have your MIND BLOWN!!

War is a reality. We fight, the kingdom of God will bring destruction to the wicked (as a means of restoration…that’s important to remember…restoration is HUGE) and we have to be ready for that battle because, frankly, that battle is already here. If you haven’t noticed, everyday is a battle we fight with God against Satan. Everyday we are a part of a war. Like the peasants who are armed only with fruit to fling at on coming soldiers our weapons are love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Our mission to to follow Christ. But we have to work, prepare, be ready, pay attention and follow our leader the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

This morning I read a quote, posted on another friends facebook page by Stanley Hauerwas,

“Most American Christians assume that they have a right, if not an obligation, to read the Bible. I challenge that assumption. No task is more important than for the Church to take the Bible out of the hands of individual Christians in North America. Let us no longer give the Bible to all children when they enter the third grade or whenever their assumed rise to Christian maturity is m…arked, such as eigth grade commencements. Let us rather tell them and their parents that they are possessed by habits far too corrupt for them to be encouraged to read the Bible on their own. North American Christians are trained to believe that they are capable of reading the Bible without spiritual and moral transformation. They read the Bible not as Christians, not as people set apart, but as democratic citizens who think their “common sense” is sufficient for “understanding” the Scripture. They feel no need to stand under the authority of a truthful community to be told how to read.”

Now before anyone flies off the handle, let’s remember the Hauerwas, much of the time, speaks in broad, exagerated forms for the purposes of stirring conversation. With that said, I think in some ways I agree with Hauerwas. The problem with giving children the Bible is that so often, we never teach them how to study it. We teach them to read and we assume that they’ll remember what we taught them or figure it out on their own. And if they figure it out wrong, it’s because they didn’t listen to the Holy Spirit. The problem with many styles of Bible teaching is that they teach kids what to believe but not how to arrive at these conclusions (please note I’m only focusing on one part of Hauerwas’ comment, much more could be said here but I choose to focus specifically on a lack of training).

As a minister and as a Christian I believe we need to work harder at teaching methodologies for study. Yes study is not an individualistic process, however, each individual (as a part of the community) needs training, needs guidance so that they can bring the best voice possible to the conversation at hand. Giving a soldier the right weapon but not training her on how to use it will not bring success. Surely a lack of training has led to the number of Christian teens who have left the church.

I believe that anyone who says anything about God is a theologian. In this light, we need to teach people how to be theologians. Let’s stop assuming people actually know how to study the Bible. Reading the Bible and studying the Bible are two different things. Let’s stop assuming people know how to pray. Let’s make equipping the saints with good methodologies as important as equipping them with good beliefs.

It’s been far too long since I posted. I had finals to attend to and so, unfortunately other things got shelved or for a more generationally appropriate metaphor, paused. But never fear, I finished up all of my papers on time and have now begun my post-quarter tradition…READ WHAT I WANT! HUZZAH!!

And yes, the actual name of the tradition is “READ WHAT I WANT! HUZZAH!!” It is begun on the first monday following the last day of the quarter where I pick up my chosen book, say “Read What I want! Then I read the title of the book and the autho and then say HUZZAH!! You think I’m joking but alas, I’m really that nerdy.

Currently I’m reading The King Jesus Gospel by Scot McKngiht (HUZZAH!!). I came across this quote last night and I found it appropriate for my current project (remember the whole read the bible and not read fiction…yeah I’m still on that). McKnight writes,

“One reason why so many Christians today don’t know the Old Testament is because their “gospel” doesn’t even need it!”

To some degree I agree with this assessment. The gospel (however one defines it) has typically not included any connection to the Old Testament. IN fact, I think some people recently found out that Jesus was actually Jewish and not Christian…which does make a difference in how you understand who Jesus is and why Jesus is important to the story.

But this is not one of those soapbox blogs where I rant and rave against some great crime. On some level, I get it. I’m currently in Numbers (yep…I’m a fan of Leviticus but much of Numbers is not my cup of tea). I just read the part where God has the Israelites organize into different camps and settle into those regions based upon their different clans and the different role the clans play in the moving of the tabernacle (the Levite clans specifically) and as I’m reading it, I’m struggling to keep my eyes open. It’s hard, I’m sorry I’m not perfect but the numbers get all jumbled up in my head 44567, 22327, 45678…which clan goes to what number…I don’t remember!! ARGH!!….yes when I get mad I go pirate, which is better than when I get sad and go ninja (that joke is probably a little dated but I’m sticking with it).

So on the one hand, I believe the Old Testament does matter and it is important. On the other hand, I get why people might not think it’s important and I also understand that blog’s about difficulty of reading the Old Testament may not help the cause but this blog is about honesty and not paradigmatic shifts in the culture of the church (which I do support by the way). So if you’re reading Numbers and are struggling to stay awake…you’re in good company. Keep reading. It is a part of the story of Israel and as such it is a part of the story of Jesus which means it’s a part of our story.